Much as I enjoy what Gizoogle does with my language, its words are not those of the languages that I usually speak. One tongue that I do speak fairly fluently is Plannerese, and it occurred to me that, had I the time, I might build an engine that could translate ordinary text into Plannerese, and specifically into the metropolitan dialect of Plannerese spoken in this area. I then read one of Metro's Opt-In surveys, and found to my delight that a ready stock of Plannerese phrases awaited me, vetted by the masters.
Until I build the translation engine (Planoogle? UGBoogle? Processpool?) I will have to translate by hand. Consider this recent passage from Professor Bogdanski:
The first sentence is hard to convert to local Plannerese, as it runs counter to the Received Plannerization, but the others are easier. I render it thus:
It's time for a moratorium on all things streetcar in Portland. But given that the incoming mayor has been pimping streetcars for a living around the world, that isn't going to happen. And so onward toward bankruptcy we march. It's too bad that the voters don't get as worked up about gross financial incompetence as they do about fluoridated water.
A pause in expanding the streetcar network is one of a number of options for the region to consider as we strive toward multi-modal connectivity. The incoming mayor has supported streetcars in the public and private sectors and construction should resume. The fiscal and qualitative practicability of an integrated streetcar-centric transit network is less well understood than the social and community benefits actualized by the network. As borne out by surveys, the community values streetcars and their attendant matrix of social, economic, and lifestyle availabilities almost as much as our region's historic commitment to clean, pure water.
Do these two paragraphs say the same thing? Of course not; that's one of the joys of this strange and wonderful tongue. Actually, I'm not sure that the second paragraph says anything, which means my translation might be pretty close to the mark.
Scary, isn't it?